“I was asked to act when I couldn’t act, I was asked to sing when I couldn’t sing, and dance when I couldn’t dance, and do all kinds of things I was not expecting and was not prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.”
As someone who obsesses over the future, this quote caught my attention. How did she do it? How did someone with no experience become one of the most iconic actresses of all time? And she did all this without ever aspiring to. I had to know.
It turns out the words were from an incredible interview with Audrey Hepburn when she was 47 years old, fresh from a chaotic film premiere where a fan accidentally poked her eye with a fountain pen and spilled ink on her Givenchy dress.
And what she shared wasn’t typical Hollywood gossip, but the answer to my questions:
On her 8-year absence from Hollywood: “It’s not a comeback. I had no idea I would be away so long. It’s just that I re-married, had a baby and found a new life. Those things take time, and you just have to decide what’s important in life.”
On the attempted kidnapping of her husband: “I tell you, it’s a very anguishing period in Rome. They’re even kidnapping tourists for $50 apiece, ransacking apartments and breaking into cars. If you’re a famous person, it’s especially worrying, but I can’t let fear dominate my life.”
On her priorities: “I only work if I can combine my family’s holiday with the shooting schedule. Acting is something I love to do and will do again, but I’m not having a career. Movies will always be an occasional thing now.”
On embracing her 40s: “Well, I am 47 and I think it’s silly to play younger parts. People have been youth worshippers too long. This is by far the happiest period of my life, even with all the tragic changes in the world. I’m less restless, and I no longer look for the wrong values. If I only knew then what I know now. I’ve had so much more than I ever dreamt of.”
On being happy: “It’s not as though I’ve had great disappointments or unfulfilled hopes that didn’t work out. So much more has happened than I ever thought possible. I didn’t expect any of this. I am the most un-bitter person in the world. I decided ages ago to like life unconditionally.”
On unexpected accomplishments: “I’ve never expected life to do anything special for me, yet I’ve accomplished more than I ever hoped for, and most of the time it just happened without my even seeking it.”
On living simply: “I haven’t done any interviews in the past eight years. Of course, I can’t do anything about the photographers who follow me around in the street and wait outside my door. I don’t have a secretary. I don’t have attack dogs. My dog is a gorgeous mutt my father-in-law picked up in the street, and she’s madly sentimental and gushes all over everybody. I don’t go to parties or official functions, and I answer my own telephone. I cope.”
On rejecting the demands of glamour: “Truly, I’ve never been concerned with any public image. It would drive me around the bend if I worried about the pedestal others have put me on. And also I don’t believe it. I’ve never thought of myself as glamorous or anything.”
On the beauty industry: “It’s all in their minds. I use creams because I have dry skin and I’m a nut on sleep. If I go without sleep, I feel like I have the flu. But I have no pattern or routine. In Italy, I get up early to get Andrea off to the clinic by 7:30, and he doesn’t come home until after 9 p.m. So we don’t eat until 10 and midnight is an early night, but it ain’t early for me. I have to make up for it by taking afternoon naps. I take care of my health, and the world takes care of my thoughts.”
On media attention: “I never read articles about me because it makes me nervous to know what others think of me. I used to suffer so from gossip columns. There’s never been a helluva lot to say about me, but they make it up anyway. Only last week a San Francisco columnist printed that I was in America because my marriage was over. I don’t care, but there’s always some obliging soul who sends these things to my mother.”
On avoiding the spotlight: “You’re going to think I’m so corny, but my wish is not to be lonely. And to have my garden. I grow everything—flowers, herbs, vegetables. I’m not a city person. I love the country, dogs, flowers and nature, and I’m very bored by cement and skyscrapers. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve enjoyed the klieg lights, the soundstages, the camera and the hard work making films. But if you ask me what I want from life, it’s not glamour or money.”
On aging gracefully: “So I don’t know what the future holds. But whatever happens, the most important thing is growing old gracefully. And you can’t do that on the cover of a fan magazine.”
This interview led me deeper. In her biography, I discovered that her philosophy wasn’t born in Hollywood, but in the darkness of World War II. At fifteen, she was rounded up by German soldiers for forced labor, barely escaped, and spent the final months of the war hiding while her family survived by eating tulips and whatever else they could find.
Experiencing war as a child crushed any illusion of a predictable future. Yet instead of becoming bitter, she learned to “cope.” Thus, her famous grace wasn't innate elegance but hard-earned wisdom that later built a legendary career.
So when Audrey Hepburn says, “I decided ages ago to like life unconditionally,” what she’s really doing is showing us how to live, gracefully.
Sources:
Rex Reed, “Our Fair Lady Is Back, and It’s Spring,” New York Sunday News, March 21, 1976
Barry Paris, “Audrey Hepburn,” 1996